What's
Your Business Sign?
- Marketing
- You are
ambitious yet stupid. You chose a
marketing degree to avoid having to study
in college, concentrating instead on
drinking and socializing which is pretty
much what your job responsibilities are
now. Least compatible with Sales.
- Sales
- Laziest of
all signs, often referred to as "marketing
without a degree." You are also self-centered
and paranoid. Unless someone calls you
and begs you to take their money, you
like to avoid contact with customers so
you can "concentrate on the big
picture." You seek admiration for
your golf game throughout your life.
- Technology
- Unable to
control anything in your personal life,
you are instead content to completely
control everything that happens at your
workplace. Often even YOU don't
understand what you are saying but who
the hell can tell. It is written that
Geeks shall inherit the Earth.
- Engineering
- One of only
two signs that actually studied in school.
It is said that engineers place ninety
percent of all Personal Ads. You can be
happy with yourself; your office is full
of all the latest "ergodynamic"
gadgets. However, we all know what is
really causing your "carpal tunnel
syndrome."
- Accounting
- The only
other sign that studied in school. You
are mostly immune from office politics.
You are the most feared person in the
organization; combined with your extreme
organizational traits, the majority of
rumors concerning you say that you are
completely insane.
- Human Resources
- Ironically,
given your access to confidential
information, you tend to be the biggest
gossip within the organization. Possibly
the only other person that does less work
than marketing, you are unable to return
any calls today because you have to get a
haircut, have lunch AND then mail a
letter.
- Management/Middle
Management
- Catty,
cutthroat, yet completely spineless, you
are destined to remain at your current
job for the rest of your life. Unable to
make a single decision you tend to
measure your worth by the number of
meetings you can schedule for yourself.
Best suited to marry other "Middle
Managers" as everyone in your social
circle is a "Middle Manager."
- Senior Management
- (See above
- Same sign, different title)
- Customer Service
- Bright,
cheery, positive, you are a fifty-cent
cab ride from taking your own life. As
children very few of you asked your
parents for a little cubicle for your
room and a headset so you could pretend
to play "Customer Service."
Continually passed over for promotions,
your best bet is to sleep with your
manager. Or finish that damn two-year
degree...
- Consultant
- Lacking any
specific knowledge, you use acronyms to
avoid revealing your utter lack of
experience. You have convinced yourself
that your "skills" are in
demand and that you could get a higher
paying job with any other organization in
a heartbeat. You will spend an eternity
contemplating these career opportunities
without ever taking direct action.
- Recruiter, "Headhunter"
- As a "person"
that profits from the success of others,
most people who actually work for a
living disdain you. Paid on commission
and susceptible to alcoholism, your
ulcers and frequent heart attacks
correspond directly with fluctuations in
the stock market.
- Partner, President,
CEO
- You are
brilliant or lucky. Your inability to
figure out complex systems such as the
fax machine suggest the latter.
- Government Worker
- Paid to
take days off. Government workers are
genius inventors, like the invention of
new Holidays. They usually suffer from
deep depression or anxiety and usually
commit serious crimes while on the job...Thus
the term "GO POSTAL"
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