Great
Lines from Job Evaluations
- I would not
allow this employee to breed.
- This associate
is not so much of a has-been, but more
definitely a won't be.
- Works well when
under constant supervision and cornered like
a rat in a trap.
- When she opens
her mouth, it seems it is only to change
whatever foot was previously there.
- He would be out
of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
- This young lady
has delusions of adequacy.
- He set low
personal standards and then consistently
fails to achieve them.
- This employee
is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
- This employee
should go far, and the sooner he starts, the
better.
- Not the
sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Got into the
gene pool while the lifeguard was not looking.
- Got a full 6-pack,
but lacks the plastic thing to hold it
together.
- A gross
ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary
ignoramus.
- A photographic
memory but with the lens cover glued on.
- A prime
candidate for natural de-selection.
- Bright as
Alaska in December.
- One-celled
organisms outscore him in IQ tests.
- Donated his
brain to science before he was done using it.
- Fell out of the
family tree.
- Gates are down,
lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming.
- Has two brains:
one is lost; the other one is out looking for
it.
- He's so dense,
light bends around him.
- If brains were
taxed, she would get a refund.
- Of he were
anymore stupid, he'd have to be watered twice
a week.
- If you give him
a penny for his thoughts, you will get change.
- If you stand
close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
- It is hard to
believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
- On neuron short
of a synapse.
- Some drink from
the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled.
- Takes him an
hour and a half to watch 60 minutes.
- Wheel is
turning, but the hamster is dead.
- Since my last
report, this employee has reached rock bottom
and has started to dig.
- His men would
follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid
curiosity.
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