Signs
Your Coworker is About to Go Postal
- New pickup line:
"You'd be the hostage I kept till the
end."
- Three straight
days wearing his "What Would Charles
Bronson Do?" T-shirt.
- His new "365
Ways to Go Berserk" desk calendar.
- Your fellow
librarian starts running after patrons and
stamping their faces with the "date due"
stamp.
- Overheard
saying to his manager, "Y2K? Not gonna
be an issue, dude."
- The company
newsletters on his bulletin board have push-pins
through everyone's faces.
- His molar
grinding is actually causing sparks.
- He suggests
replacing "Casual Day" with "Wear
a Bull's-eye T-shirt Day."
- Whenever you
ask how he's doing, he always says, "Gruntled."
Except today.
- After pumping
the vending machine full of bullets, he
removes all the boxes of JuJuBees, caresses
each one, and whispers, "You are all my
children."
- He discreetly
shows you the staple gun he's converted to
fully automatic.
- Right after you
click the "Send" button, you hear
him mutter, "I swear, the next person
who sends me one of those damn jokes..."
- He's the only
one at work smiling.
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