Special
High Intensity Training
In order to assure the highest
levels of quality work and productivity from employees,
it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T).
We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone
else.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T
on the job, please see your manager. You will be
immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and
our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you
get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in
Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T)
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will
have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).
Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were
promoted, they do not have to do S.H.I.T anymore, as they
are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a
job training others. We can add your name to our Basic
Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who
are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs,
and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity
Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)
If you have further questions, please direct them to our
Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T
S.H.I.T)
Thank you,
Boss in General
(B.I.G S.H.I.T)
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